Recently, I have been reflecting on the grief which often goes unacknowledged in our community. I have been reminded in my counselling room of the way in which difficult emotions like anger, frustration, sadness and despair can be hard to express, often leaving us feeling unheard by those around us, and overwhelmed. At these times it can also become very difficult to work out which is the step that we need to take next to get ourselves back on track.
Read moreGrieving the Loss of Good Friends
One of the things you will know about me if you have been reading these posts for any length of time, is that I like to shine a light on the losses that we experience as crippling, but which people around us don't seem to recognise as important. Well this week I have been reminded that one of these losses involves the very real anguish that people can experience, when they lose a friend.
Read moreDealing with Loneliness
One of the things that I have been reflecting on lately, is the amount of loneliness evident in our community. As I have said in this space before, it is almost certainly true that the loneliest people are currently young. It is also true that older people are at great risk of experiencing loneliness, and that it's a feeling which can hit us all from time to time.
Read moreIt's All In the Way We Frame It
Recently, I sat having breakfast with a friend. She was telling me about someone in her life, and how she is struggling to rebuild a relationship which as outsiders looking in, sounds to us like it has run it's course.
"She tells me that she would rather work on it, because she can't cope with so much time alone Louise!" my friend told me, "But I tell her it's all about how she looks at it.
Read moreCoping with Grief Related to Public Events
One of the things that I have been reminded of recently, is the grief and anxiety that we can sometimes feel when things happen in our communities, even when we ourselves are no more involved than as observers. I've talked about it before here I know — but I think it worth revisiting because it can be quite isolating when we are going through these feelings, and because at the moment things are happening which for me at least, feel very close to home.
Read moreCoping With Misunderstandings
One of the things that I have been reflecting on this week is how we cope, or sometimes don't cope, with misunderstandings.
Read moreSome Tips for Coping with Discontent
Something that I have talked about in this space before I know, is our tendency to be what I call shouldistic, when we feel the need to change something in ourselves or our lives. We'll be experiencing some sort of discontent within ourselves and then come up with all kinds of expectations about how we should be able to change that feeling or situation, or what timeframe it should take for that change to happen.
Read moreOn The Subject of Shame
Something I have been reflecting on recently, is the part that shame can play in our lives, and the way that we can feel like it dictates our actions. To demonstrate what I mean by this, I want to give you two examples.
Read moreAnd then, There Was Guilt
Recently, I talked about the impact that shame can have on us at different times. Well, I feel like I had to come back to this subject tonight, to say that you can never really look closely at the emotion of shame without it's twin showing up, which is of course guilt.
Read moreWhat Not To say
So, picture this! It was Thursday night, and I had a phone appointment in 29 minutes! The bus was due in three. As it takes approximately 22 minutes to get home at this time of night? Look, to say that I was cutting it fine, is a slight understatement
Read moreThe Importance of the Death Story as we Grieve
One of the things I have been reflecting on this week, is how difficult it can be for us to grieve the loss of someone in our lives, when we don't have the death story, and/or we haven't been a part of the usual grieving rituals, like funerals.
Read moreThe Grief that Exists Alongside Resilience
Recently, I have been talking about various aspects of grief; how we need the death story to make sense of loss, how we are often in mourning for people and things which those around us may not recognise as important. This week, I have been reflecting on the part that grief plays, in resilience.
Read moreAsking Questions: A Key to Connection
A couple of weeks ago, I was reflecting on what I think are the key ingredients of connection. Well with all of the events going on around us in the world at the moment, I have been reflecting on what I think is another key ingreedient of connection, and that is our ability to ask questions.
Read moreThe Gift of Listening
One of the things I have been reflecting on this week, is just what it means to be connected. Every week at the end of my posts I encourage my readers to “stay connected”, and yet at times, I think we can easily forget what the key ingredients of connection actually are.
Read moreNew Kinds of Gratitude Practices
So, picture this! I’m lying in bed late last night and flicking through YouTube to find something which might just send me to sleep. I happened to stumble upon a Podcast by Andrew Huberman, and of course the opposite happened; I was suddenly wide awake and interested.
Read more